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What I learned from a movie. I have decided to start blogging again and this is one that was never posted. So I took myself to se...

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I AM A BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN



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With that being said let me address this issue for all the BBW’S and BBM’S. We do not resemble or look like Rasputia from Norbit, Edna Turnblad from Hairspray, Precious or Madea from any of Tyler Perry’s plays or movies.  Our men don’t look like or resemble Fat Albert, Sherman Klump, Daddy Klump, Ernie klump Sr. or Fat Bastard from Austin Powers movie.

When you refer to us in this manner we do not consider it a compliment nor do we think it is cute or funny. Matter of fact it is rude inconsiderate, mean spirited, hurtful and for those with low self-esteem it makes them feel even worse about themselves.

Just because we don’t say anything doesn’t make it any less ignorant to say or hurtful. And for all you fat people that make fun of other fat people and laugh when others do it get a grip. You just reinforce that it is okay to act so callously towards another human being.  

And by the way while you making those ugly remarks and laughing. I will leave you ladies and men with this piece of advice from Madea “check with man” “check with your woman” cause they may be an undercover chubby chaser.





Monday, July 29, 2013

What is stopping you from getting the love that you want

     I posted this question on my facebook. "what is stopping you from getting the LOVE that you want?" Only two responded and their answers where there ego and pride. After much thought to the question, this is the answer that keep coming back to me. I am what is stopping me from getting the LOVE that I want. I have been in mommy mode for the last 27yrs, and expect for about 6 months of that last 22 years I have been single and celibate. My life consisted of working, taking a class here and there, basketball games, and just everyday life of running a household as a single mother. If I did anything else it was dinner, movies or out for drinks with my girls friends.
    I know some of you may think that I must have been in a bad relationship, I feel like I don't need a man, I am a man basher or I think there are no good men left.  So let me just set the record straight. My relationships were not abusive and I remained friends with the men. I do need a man not to make me feel like a whole woman but because I miss the company of a man. As for male bashing and no good men left I think that MEN, especially Black men, are the best thing God created this side of Heaven and there are still good ones out there.
     The desire for male companionship burst in the daylight about 2 months ago. I am enrolled in a program for displaced unemployed or under employed woman. Part of the programs was to concentrate on the things we want and what we need to make us feel healthy and whole. After several weeks of this planning my life stage, the feeling that there was something missing would not leave. Then I dreamed about AW and the missing piece was found.I knew I wasn't ready to be in a relationship but I missed just having a good conversation with a man. Hearing his point on a subject. Don't get me wrong I love my girls but there is just something different when talking to a man. 
      Am I afraid of failing, of course, but I am more afraid of not knowing what the hell I am doing and even more afraid not  trying to get involved with men on a friendly basis. I have let that part of me lay dormant for so long that it is like resurrecting the dead. The Problem is that I have been alone so long that I don't know how to allow someone else into my personal space. I am just unsure how to relate to a man on a one on one level. How long do you wait to give them your number? what questions to ask them without offending them? Should you do a criminal background check? Ask their HIV Status. I mean I could go on but I think you all get the picture.
     I have made the effort to open up and interact with a few men but it didn't go so well. The first one was simple minded, didn't have a clue about women or was just trying to play mind games. The second one he was rough for real and let me just state for the record I AM NOT ABOUT THAT LIFE. There is a level that I just can not do now. Maybe 10 years ago I could hung but not now. Now we come to gentleman 3 and I am running for the hills.  He can hold a great conversation, He seems interested in getting to know about me and what I like to do. Now I guess I just have to suck it up and let the chip fall where they may.

   

Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Question is: How did I let it get so bad?


So I have been wanting a bicycle for the last 2 years or more but because of my weight i was unsure of what brand would work for me. So, I went to the only expert I know my Uncle Cleo. My uncle has ridden for years and he travel around the country riding on the bike tours. So I went to talk to him and he said he would keep and eye out for me. a couple of days later he called me and said that I needed to start walking and I said ok. I enlisted my pnc(partner in crime) to walk with me. We decided that we would walk Monday Wednesday and Fridays. Well let me just say I text my uncle and told him I wouldn't be needing the bike this year bacause I didn't realize how out of shape I am.

Now this bring me to the title of this post. While I knew I was extemely overweight I never thought I was so out of shape. The first couple of walks I did even make it that far and I was breathing so hard I was scared. Then I began to be ashamed. Ashamed that I couldn't walk more that 10 minutes, ashamed that I sounded like a freight train breathing, ashamed that I had allowed myself to beome so out of shape,but most importantly that I had not paid attention to myself, my health and my life.

I will be 50 on June 1st of this year and I will not spend the next years over weight, out of shape and living a minimal life. I am a big girl not physically but in all areas of my life but they have been overshadowed by how I have been living. On of my youtube people said big girls need big toys. I don't just want the big toys I want a big life. So when I leave this life. My family, Friends, and Sugacubes cans says she lived a big full life.

My New Years starts on my birthday not January 1 and I intend to start living life to the fullest. As my stamina increases so will the the things I will be doing. My first thing is to up the days of my walking from Monday Wdnesday and Friday to Monday thru Sunday. I am making my to do list now and I will accomplish them all including hitting the Mega Millions so that I can support the poverty stricken and give back to my community especially those like me that have let life pass them by and discovered they have so much to give but just don't know where to start.

Love ones, pay attention to your life everyday and live it to the fullest.